The Wings

Sky is empty and sea is too deep
But no bounds are enough to keep
In bounds the Wings ,
Yes they are tired and defeated
Witness of the mistakes repeated
Yet they do sing..
With the rhyme of winds and spaces
When the mood and flavor matches
They fly the distances
Foolhardy , dont hide , never subside
Make a deafening sound when collide
and they do sink
Challenging their own limits and pace
Searching the ambition , divine solace
they do cry
Reminding the every tear they weep
No bounds are enough to keep
In bounds the wings..

paradox of breaking a broken wall

We start with a story ," a story of choice ". This story is about taking a brick out from either of the two walls one have . "One wall is strong with no ruptures , while other one has few holes and ruptures. When it came about taking the brick i chose the broken wall . Why ? . I asked myself . Well there were many reasons which i never gave a thought before.

Firstly a broken wall must be easy to break further , i can manage to trace a rupture , give slight effort and get my brick . The "Unbroken" should be little more difficult . This is the reason one .The ease to dislodge a broken wall.

Then by breaking a unbroken wall you are committing a crime .There might be repercussions .The broken wall is already broken . you can save your ass .This is fear factor.The legality of the breaking the broken wall. Or in other words if you have your way with the broken there will be less voices against you.

Morally you not dismantling anything.In fact you are using a ruptured structure for your purpose.
Does that happen somewhere in Life ? It does , it does happens , well nd loud.People choose the weaker to suppress .Knowingly or unknowingly .We try to soothe our ego ,prove our might through the conduit that wont refute.
We curse the very fact that at times we are treated like a broken wall. And never being allowed to come back.But somewhere this is the tradition we are part of...

Imperfections.....

The moment you take the first few cc of the air in your lungs or may be lot before when you are in the perfect care of the mother's womb or may be even before , you initiate the brain of those around you to dream. And here is where the story starts....
I have never found the answers of some questions and may be i shall find them in near future ,but could answering such common things could prove so much difficult in itself.
Should i dream ? ..when i am dreaming i am expecting something from myself ... i may gather responsibilities but i will wish to cherish the same dream ... i may stumble and fail but i will stand one more time to knock the door of the castle ... when others sleep ,i will burn my candle .
What if i still fail..??? the dream never suceeds.. i have already invariably lost on the responsibilities ... fun.. sleep .... and may be the hope.
In the hunt i might have just left the second best...
So what is good the second best or best...!!!
But then you believe in one tide to rock you up and get it all.. in one sweep... its not going to happen... tides will rise and fall....
in between what abt a belief in divine intervention... never mind.. but god have better things to do...;)

Waqt ho chala hai

har baar khud se kiye kuch vaade tut jaate hai,

kabhi karte hai shikwe

kabhi yuhi bas nikal jate hai 

Har jeet ko peene ka maja 

har haar ko jeene ki saaza 

har dua kabool ho ye dua

 aur khawisho ka chota panna 

 jeb mein kuch khawishe mode huee 

kabhi bistar mein khud ko sikode huee 

aasmaan ki kisi kone ko kaha choda tha

 shayad khush tha.. jab sabkuch thoda tha 

 aasmaan ko samet lene ka falsafa

 suraj ko ghurne ka bebaak hosla 

paani ko bhi bade naakhono se nocha

  the pure anadi..par kiya wahi jo socha

Kuch dur shayad mujhse nikal gaya hai

kya kal bhi mera meri tarah badal gaya hai

taalo mein aaj mithi ki tarah yu jam gaya hai

muthi thi band fir bhi kal haatho se fisal gaya hai

Kuch shayad alag sa ho gaya hai

kuch mera mujhse kho gaya hai

shayad,

daat koi achi se khaye huee waqt ho chala hai

mitti mathe pe lagaye huee

sadako pe jor se chilaye huee  

geet apne mann ke gaye huee........

Apne asoo sabko bataye huee...

hatho se jhoom ke muskuraye huee 

Khud ki galat baatein manvaye huee 

or gaal pe tamacha koi paye huee.....waqt ho chala hai

Quick Sand

What i fear the most ? Quicksand ..!!!
This was the dialogue of keanu reaves from the replacements .

I too fear the same . To start with one thing falls and with that the other thing .All the weak points seem linked and to have conspired against . Like chains pulling you from all the directions for a common end failure.They are planning a trap on you. Your caution turns suspicion. Every thing done by you , gets subdued by what is happening around you. You dont do but are done by .You hope this ends on a single bad day .But a series continues. You struggle to make it right . You need more air ,more space ,more time ... and you have none. You kow you are losing it all , yet you can do nothing. You lose the composure and commit more mistakes .Making choices u never would have made otherwise. Choices which are nothing but a escapist attitude. You smoke , you booze. You sit with some worthless fellows like you and abuse everyhting that comes and goes by .In ur heart you hope , this might help the recovery .Ending up digging more deep and steep .Anger ,frustation ,depression ... start entering in ur routine.Voices that comes to your ears sounds noise. You hurt people who care or think about you . Why ? . May be the feeling that you let them down.May be their positive talks deepens the feeling of worthlessness .You want to shut urself in yet you cant. There are volcanoes inside you , a molten lava of emotions . Turmoil.sleeplessness ,restlessness ..fear.You fear the loneliness and crowd at the same moment. You dont enjoy your own company. Dissatisfaction multiplies. Coliision of your thoughts in mind become frequent.You wish to stay and make everything right and at the same time to run away .
You wish to lose ur memory , haunting you like a ghost.Situation makes your every action inaction. Harder u try , more you mess up. And if u dont try you invariably lose. Confused , hasty , acting foolishly... and what you can see is people laughing on you ,asking questions , raising doubts on your abilility. You start losing trust on urself. Basic structure of belifs has crumbled. Every moment of defeat though over your mind cant let it go , replay and run it thousand times. The memory of that moment just contains negativity .And then memory of that memory keep piling up till it becomes absolute monster.Those memories pinch like a monster residing in yourself and killing you inside out. You have lost fatally.

You wish any single thing right could have changed it . You realize your past has been a series of failures. Your every decision was inapt and inadequate .Suddenly your ability to focus on one aim becomes inability to prepare a back up plan.You search a shelter ,a sheild or a escape route . Your bench marks change. Instead of performance , survival becomes the need. Trival things make u feel lost........

........

Uncompulsive desire

दे कोई ऐसी आरजू जिंदगी
ना मिले तो भी मिल जाए हमको खुशी
टूटे सपनो पे भी कोई आँसू ना गिरे
दिल और जान से हम चले
....
फ़िर ना कोई डर होगा इन आखो में
ना होगी शिकन मेरी बातो में
मन से जिंदगी का हर गीत गायेंगे
हार हो या जीत मुस्कुराएंगे
॥
होता नही पर ऐसा कभी
मिलते है यहाँ गम भी
शीशे चुब्ते रहते है सेने में
बहते है कुछ आँसू आखो से
रहते है कुछ शिकवे बातो में
और कुछ कच्चे खाब यादो में
कल की हुकूमत से डर जाते है
हम घबराते है... डर जाते है

शीशे पैरो में चुब के जख्म दे
पर दिल को ऐ खुदा मेरे बख्श दे
कोई तोह दुआ मेरी कबूल हो
इसका भी इस जहा में उसूल हो
..

Silence ... Introspection

For good or bad or may be this is a phase everyone has with no particular consequences .... I am changing .

Silence is becoming the integral me opposite to what i have been . And I am enjoying silence ... why may be thats a another article!! i wanna see here why that silence actually came.

May be this is becouse there is much noise in and around me . And with every new sound i hear a collison in my processing unit .And that collision is resulting in further noise .So i am curbing a source of sound .. my own vocal cord . I dont wish to add more noise.And the feeling of enoyment is helping me in my implementation .When this noise settles down may be the silence loses its hold.

May be it is becouse currently i have a less faith in the person i see in the mirror.I am not satisfied with him .And thus i don't want to listen to him . Neither i wish to judge him nor vouch for him . I am not allowing him to speak .Atleast not before i reconcile my diffrenced with him and be on the same plateform with him or i gain my lost ground with him.

May be i am in a perceiving mode.Opposite from running away from the noise ,i wish to absorb all the noise and analyze it.Rather than association of every event to my past ,present,future..or broadly to myself , i want to associate it to a anonymous identity which is clearly visible from me and does'nt effect me. And than have a eye of the GOD to understand him.I am in a continous conversation with this anonymous person and may be too busy to speak and break my silence.

May be i want to remain floating ,not giving myself to either yes or no .Becouse some how i am not seeing either yes or no being false.And with every thought my mind want to communicate through my vocal cord , i see a exactly opposite thought clearly visible and not false . And rather than making a half true statement or a equivocal statement ........ I am preferring silence.